Tag: Father and son

Big and Little

8/20/20 Thursday

I like this picture. It reminds me that Big can get along with Little, that differences in size can be harmonious. Both are worthy of respect, where Little is aware of Big’s size and power – and Big is aware of Little’s vulnerability, worthiness, value, and right to set his own course across space and time. Both move to their own rhythm, both move together. It’s all about respect, where giving way is the ultimate power.

after-the-rain.org / Tanker and Sailboat
Tanker and Sailboat – Admiralty Inlet, 2020

I like this picture. It reminds me that Big can get along with Little, that differences in size can be harmonious. Both are worthy of respect, where Little is aware of Big’s size and power – and Big is aware of Little’s vulnerability, worthiness, value, and right to set his own course across space and time. Both move to their own rhythm, both move together. It’s all about respect, where giving way is the ultimate power.

after-the-rain.org / Father and Son
Father and Son – Costa Rica, 2011

Fighting Pirates

4/26/20 Sunday

We take advantage of the empty places around us. Skateboarding on the sidewalks, scootering on freshly paved parking lots, paddling around the empty marina. Staying active, breathing cool clean salty air.

after-the-rain.org / Kayak at the marina

Being outside, on the water, the mundane becomes an adventure as we load our lunch into the kayak, paddle across the bay, and sit in the cockpit eating turkey sandwiches, pretzels, fruit snacks and oreos. The wind howls through the rigging but for the moment the sun is out and it’s smiles all around.

after-the-rain.org / Pulling up to the boat

We try fishing but don’t have any luck. Everyone seems to be hunkered down, even the little perch that we usually catch. Day’s focus changes to defending the boat against pirates. He swings gallantly from the jib halyard as I point out the imaginary attackers. An American flag marks our base and we make our stand with an empty flare gun and a paddle.

after-the-rain.org / Boy swinging from halyard

As the clouds move in, the wind picks up and the temperature drops. Our adventure for the day is at an end. We claw our way back to the ramp where it all began and start the process of heading back. Soon we will be at home. Soon he will look away and tell me he is tired. Soon he will turn around and I will see a tear slide down his cheek.

His mother’s restriction on visitation is ending. She has met the criteria for spending time with him on an unsupervised basis. We are rolling into a 50/50 parenting plan. It’s what we have been striving for, but when I see my son’s reaction to going back, I realize the struggle is not over. I guess we all have our demons, our own pirates. Today I watch my son fight his at the end of the dock. I’m with him all the way.

after-the-rain.org / Fighting pirates