4/26/20 Sunday
We take advantage of the empty places around us. Skateboarding on the sidewalks, scootering on freshly paved parking lots, paddling around the empty marina. Staying active, breathing cool clean salty air.
Being outside, on the water, the mundane becomes an adventure as we load our lunch into the kayak, paddle across the bay, and sit in the cockpit eating turkey sandwiches, pretzels, fruit snacks and oreos. The wind howls through the rigging but for the moment the sun is out and it’s smiles all around.
We try fishing but don’t have any luck. Everyone seems to be hunkered down, even the little perch that we usually catch. Day’s focus changes to defending the boat against pirates. He swings gallantly from the jib halyard as I point out the imaginary attackers. An American flag marks our base and we make our stand with an empty flare gun and a paddle.
As the clouds move in, the wind picks up and the temperature drops. Our adventure for the day is at an end. We claw our way back to the ramp where it all began and start the process of heading back. Soon we will be at home. Soon he will look away and tell me he is tired. Soon he will turn around and I will see a tear slide down his cheek.
His mother’s restriction on visitation is ending. She has met the criteria for spending time with him on an unsupervised basis. We are rolling into a 50/50 parenting plan. It’s what we have been striving for, but when I see my son’s reaction to going back, I realize the struggle is not over. I guess we all have our demons, our own pirates. Today I watch my son fight his at the end of the dock. I’m with him all the way.
This is heartbreaking
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I’m still lucky things are as good as they are. Hope you and Ma are well.
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Hi Rainey,
As Jhsdoff said above, it is heartbreaking to read your post but at the same time there is a ray of light there. You say the 50/50 parenting plan is what you have been striving for, so from that point of view, things are taking their due course. It also sounds like Day’s mum is on the right track, and that has to be great news not only for her wellbeing but for Day too, even if it does not feel like that for him right now. But only you know the details in the truth of this situation, so I am only speaking from what I glean from your words. I love the picture of Day jumping up. You come across as a wonderful father and person and at the end of the day we can only do our best. The important thing is to keep moving forward, and that, you are doing, and you are doing it very well. I don’t think I would be handing the situation in such a dignified and fair manner as you are! My hot blooded Mediterranean temper would get the better of me without a doubt! x
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Thank you very much for such nice things to say, they mean a lot. Sorry I didn’t respond sooner, turned out to be a bit of a tough week and I just needed to put the blog machine down for a few days. Hope you have a nice weekend there across the pond.
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Hi Rainey,
No need to apologise. I totally understand. I did worry a bit that maybe I had said something I shouldn’t have done, spoke out of turn not knowing the full truth of your situation. I am glad that was not the case, but sorry your week was so difficult. Sometimes we all need to shut down all other voices around us, even those who are only trying to help or encourage. Things are still not great here. Hundreds of people dying from Covid 19 each day, and a government that is not being honest with the public. I am so grateful we are allowed to go out of the house for exercise each day. Spain is beginning to ease its lockdown measures on Monday so I am so glad for my siblings. It has been pretty tough for them. I only pray that those countries which are beginning to relax measures do not go into a second big wave of contagion. How are things in the States? The news we are getting here is that Trump is making a right pig’s ear of the whole crisis. Sounds about right, to be honest! He is so not fit to be POTUS. Hope your weekend is tons better than your week and that you find joy and respite in the waves! Virtual hug. Mercedes
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