Discarded

4/5/20 Sunday

Instead of bellyaching about my problems this week, I feel more like just writing about what I’m thankful for. So this evening, instead of hitting that zone to open my heart to the world, I’m just taking a few moments to appreciate a few of the smaller things. Everyday, life offers its little blessings that too often go unnoticed, especially by me. For example it’s easy to become accustomed to where I live, to not appreciate the natural beauty around me all the time. Yesterday I paused at a place I’ve driven by a thousand times, I paused to pull my truck over to the side of the road where no one usually stops. I watch the sun and the wind move across the water. Driving by it looks like one scene, but in reality the view is constantly changing, a dance where no move is repeated.

after-the-rain.org / Penn Cove

I’m thankful for this cat (Keyton), which Day and I picked out as a kitten. He came from an abandoned litter. A natural born mouser, an incorrigible hand shredder, lap heater, obsessive cabinet door opener. If I let him outside he’s gone for hours. He travels and hunts anything that moves, I’ve watched him charge deer. I don’t see him much though, Sara won’t let him come over to my new place anymore. But when she was in the hospital I brought him over here anyway, because I love him, and he makes us happy. I always keep a can of tuna on hand just in case..

after-the-rain.org / Cat on a windowsill


Most of all I’m thankful for my family. I have the best son in the world, a great Dad in Tennessee who I should make an effort to see more often, and a loving Mom here on the island. I dropped by to see her today. She watches the news too much and worries about everything. When it gets too much I ask her if she’s seen any interesting birds at her feeder, and she lights up and tells me about the first goldfinch of the season, a pileated woodpecker, and how the starlings bully the other birds.

Day is with Sara this weekend. The house is quiet, the town is quiet. It’s just me on a hazy spring Sunday, thankful for what I have, those around me, thankful for our health. There’s enough negativity out in the world these days, but it won’t get me down today, have to stay positive. I found a cache of discarded lumber scraps earlier, and spent this evening with a glass of wine, some won ton soup, and my tools on the living room floor, turning the scrap wood into a nightstand. It’s been a good day, I’m ready to go to bed.

after-the-rain.org / Nightstand

Author: Rainey

after-the-rain.org What started out as chicken scratch notes on the back pages of my boat’s logbook has now grown into a blog. These words and images help me cope with a loved one struggling with mental illness, and they help guide me through divorce, and the process of moving on. Thanks for reading along as I learn about life the hard way, do the best I can for my son in my new role as a single dad, and find weird similarities between restoring an old blue water sailboat and putting the pieces of my own life back together. Come check out my story and say hi.

2 thoughts on “Discarded”

  1. Hi Rainey,

    Glad to read you are keeping well and that your family is not affected by the virus. I did drop you a line on one of your comments but didn’t hear back, so wasn’t too sure.

    I think that even when you ‘bellyache’ about your problems, your gratitude and appreciation of the little and some really big things, always comes through in your writing. You strike me as a positive, hopeful person. You have just been dealt a very rough card and your outlook is temporarily obstructed by the pain, the hurt, the uncertainty of it all, but deep down you are the guy that always sees the glass half full.

    You seem to be a ‘restorer’ by nature. You try to mend what is broken, and redeem what seems lost. I could never make such a practical, neat night stand with a piece of wood, or make a labor of love of an old boat. I guess we all face situations and circumstances in life where we find it so gut-wrenching to accept defeat, but not every beautiful thing can be restored, brought back to life, and that is one of the hardest lessons.

    It is, however, ok to rant, to agonise in our pain. That’s when we are at our most real; when all the layers are peeled and we can see what’s truly at the core of another human being. Others can see it, but we see it too. Others can’t truly know us until we know ourselves.

    As you encouraged me to write, may I take the liberty of encouraging you to write more often also?

    All the best to you and yours,

    M

    Like

    1. Thanks again for your kind words. I do try to stay positive, I have a lot to be thankful for. Plus I realized that just because someone deals me some tough blows, it doesn’t give them the right to wipe away the good moments of the past or prevent good ones in the future. Life is just a succession of these moments, and life is short. I try to appreciate them all. When the bad ones come along I grab them, hold them close to feel the burn (and maybe write about them) then let ‘em go.. Looking forward to your next post!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s