Puttin’ the Boat Away

10/9/20 Friday

It was a good summer, one I thought would never end. There was a good bit of learning, tidal cycles of give and take, but always an adventure. And through hardship, mistakes, joy, and surprise, there was always love. But uncertainty can be relied upon, and the season is changing. The days are shorter, the nights are colder, and the wind has switched around to the south – it’s time to put the boat away.

after-the-rain.org / At the mast

Gear gets removed and packed away. Small things that were once essential now have little meaning. I scrub and clean and beneath my hands most of the dirt washes away to a memory, but I don’t know if I can get rid of it all. There’s always a little bit left to remind me that it wasn’t just a dream.

It’s time to put the boat away, time to open up to new opportunities, to be free in the moment. I’m taking the good with me, and leaving the rest behind. I’ll miss her, but as I leave and walk away, I won’t be turning around to look back.

Author: Rainey

after-the-rain.org What started out as chicken scratch notes on the back pages of my boat’s logbook has now grown into a blog. These words and images help me cope with a loved one struggling with mental illness, and they help guide me through divorce, and the process of moving on. Thanks for reading along as I learn about life the hard way, do the best I can for my son in my new role as a single dad, and find weird similarities between restoring an old blue water sailboat and putting the pieces of my own life back together. Come check out my story and feel free to say hi!

9 thoughts on “Puttin’ the Boat Away”

  3. I had to page back a few posts to ensure I hadn’t missed anything about letting go of the boat on a permanent basis. I’m relieved she’s just going to be tucked in and away until winter passes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. That’s understandable, the post was a bit ambiguous. It is time to prepare for winter, but it’s also about letting go of a relationship for good. Plus I am toying with the idea of selling the boat next year for realz, I’m uncomfortable with how much control the sailing life has over me. As you can see half the time I don’t know what I’m writing about myself.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. Sailing does seem to be an enormous source of a lot of positive things while weighted down with responsibility and need. I did read where you were deferring the decision until next summer and that feels wise. It was also the primary source of my question – did you change your mind and I missed it? My hope for you and your son is that life will be, or at least feel, more settled by summer and your overall path clearer, even if that only extends to the boat.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I let your comment sink in overnight. After thinking about your question, what I’m deciding to do is to give myself permission to let the boat go next summer, if at that time I feel it’s the right thing to do.
        Also, I appreciate your caring last sentence.

        Liked by 1 person

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