Pretty Things

9/29/20 Wednesday

I found these agates on the beach. When held up to the sun, they radiate a warm beautiful light. Each one is unique. The clarity is never the same, as some are almost flawless, while others have scars and impurities. The colors vary but are soft and warm without fail. Each one is different in size, no two ever have the same shape.

after-the-rain.org / Agates

What I find most intriguing is the tendency to pick one up, put it in my pocket, take it home, display it, show it to others. But the truth is that once this is done, the magic disappears along the way. The true beauty is not in the appearance, but in the experience of the moment – the search, the time, the discovery, the appreciation, the holding tight, the setting free. Taste, texture, smell, anticipation, experience, memory.

If you’re a guy and know what I’m talking about here then that’s cool – you get it. If you’re a woman and know what I’m talking about here then well, I wish I could date you.

Author: Rainey

after-the-rain.org What started out as chicken scratch notes on the back pages of my boat’s logbook has now grown into a blog. These words and images help me cope with a loved one struggling with mental illness, and they help guide me through divorce, and the process of moving on. Thanks for reading along as I learn about life the hard way, do the best I can for my son in my new role as a single dad, and find weird similarities between restoring an old blue water sailboat and putting the pieces of my own life back together. Come check out my story and feel free to say hi!

10 thoughts on “Pretty Things”

  1. I can certainly relate to what you are talking about here. From my perspective, one is led to assume from a young age that with marriage and the commitment made to another you automatically stop the need to experience new ‘pretty things’; the need to feel close to other people; to build a relationship with another person, to be wanted and to want, to fall in love again with someone else. I was brought up in a very traditional Spanish home; catholic upbringing and the idea that marriage is a highly sought after achievement in life; a goal to cherish above all else in order to gain identity; to be proud. Now as a grown up woman I resent that misconception; I resent not having the vision nor the patience to appreciate, to get to discover and nurture other ‘pretty things’. It is an urge I struggle with often. It doesn’t help that my husband is the only sexual partner I have ever had. If you are reading this and you get me, then I would like to date you even though I can’t because I am married! Hopefully, getting to know other people and giving and seeking support and encouragement from them, loving them and being loved by them is still acceptable and allowed.

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    1. I sure do like your last point. Forming new relationships is a good way to keep growing. I’m old school and was faithful during my marriage, and thought it would be like that forever – who new? Over the last couple of years through this divorce process I’m starting to realize I’ll be single soon, and need to get my game together. It’s gonna take some work!

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      1. I’m old school too, have been faithful and thought faithfulness was a given but it seems not. I don’t think getting your game together will take much work. You just need to meet the right person at the right time. It will happen.

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      2. I can’t say I thought faithfulness was a given, it was obvious there were times of temptation on both sides. But ultimately I trusted her, and trusted myself because I genuinely enjoyed being married. It took a long time for me to find out how unhappy she had become and how far she turned away. I was the last to know.

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  2. I laughed out loud at the last line. 🙂 The agates are beautiful, and yes, I still bring things home sometimes. Far fewer than I used to though, and where I live now it’s easier to return them. As for people, well, they are certainly not to be possessed but if you get lucky, then with a bit of work, you might be able to enjoy that beautiful moment for a very long time. The holding tight and setting free can happen over and over again and can even be mutual. 😉

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    1. Check out looking for agates on Whidbey. I used to sit there on the beach with a surfboard waiting for the tide and waves to come up. People would occasionally walk by staring at the ground. One day I finally asked someone what in the world they were looking for and that was it. Quite a bit of jade too.

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