Big and Little

8/20/20 Thursday

I like this picture. It reminds me that Big can get along with Little, that differences in size can be harmonious. Both are worthy of respect, where Little is aware of Big’s size and power – and Big is aware of Little’s vulnerability, worthiness, value, and right to set his own course across space and time. Both move to their own rhythm, both move together. It’s all about respect, where giving way is the ultimate power.

after-the-rain.org / Tanker and Sailboat
Tanker and Sailboat – Admiralty Inlet, 2020

I like this picture. It reminds me that Big can get along with Little, that differences in size can be harmonious. Both are worthy of respect, where Little is aware of Big’s size and power – and Big is aware of Little’s vulnerability, worthiness, value, and right to set his own course across space and time. Both move to their own rhythm, both move together. It’s all about respect, where giving way is the ultimate power.

after-the-rain.org / Father and Son
Father and Son – Costa Rica, 2011

Author: Rainey

after-the-rain.org What started out as chicken scratch notes on the back pages of my boat’s logbook has now grown into a blog. These words and images help me cope with a loved one struggling with mental illness, and they help guide me through divorce, and the process of moving on. Thanks for reading along as I learn about life the hard way, do the best I can for my son in my new role as a single dad, and find weird similarities between restoring an old blue water sailboat and putting the pieces of my own life back together. Come check out my story and feel free to say hi!

18 thoughts on “Big and Little”

      1. Of course. You touch my heart over and over again. I know you struggle, but your son is so, so lucky to have you. As someone who grew up with a distant father, someone incapable of identifying a single feeling of his own, I know what you may not. Making a safe place for a child in your heart makes all the difference in the world for them, for their belief in themselves, in the goodness and safety of the world, in their own power and possibilities. Over and over again I find good fathers to fall in love with. I watch them on the subways and in the parks, at ease with their children, creating space and boundaries and lessons and possibilities. I read you because you are one of those good fathers. I can’t see you. But I do. That was the Wow.

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      2. A big Wow to your comment also. (Wish there was more than a “like” button.) Some guys are real jerks but not all. The rest of us aren’t perfect but we try. We’re taught to be hard but obviously we feel, but communicating that can be awkward sometimes. Instead if messing it up with words I prefer hugs, sending one your way..

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  3. Giving way is the ultimate power indeed. Harder to figure out is when to let go and give way, as a parent at least. Your second photo is one of the most beautiful photos I’ve ever seen. It’s magical and precious! Costa Rica is on my bucket list. Both my sisters have been and raved about it.

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    1. My buddy and I used to go there once a year for surf, and I took the family twice. Good waves and good food. I suppose there’s more to do there than surf, but I wouldn’t know, I’ve got a one track mind about that!

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      1. That’s a heck of a long way to go for surfing. Sounds like a great time in your life. Yes, I am pretty certain Costa Rica is much better known for other things other than surfing, but then again I’ve never surfed, so what do I know? 😂

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  4. I really like this! Very beautiful. It says something to me about the importance of objectivity. That first photo reminds me being flipped in a sea kayak by the wake from a passing freighter in the Outer Burrard Inlet. Very sobering experience. Combined with that second photo, it’s a reminder of just how big and potentially terrifying the adult world can be for a child. It’s a big responsibility. And sometimes, we just have to slow the ship. Maybe that’s what children have to teach us?

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    1. Burrard Inlet, that’s BC right? Anyway those ships are spooky – so big, so fast. Glad you made it back to shore! Yes kids are good teachers in their own way. I’m learning to slow down, figure out what’s important in life, and how much braces cost these days 😯

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      1. Yep… Vancouver. I wasn’t really in much danger. But it caught me off guard and appealed to a phobia.
        luminousaether.wordpress[DOT]com/2015/07/20/cold-water-and-doing-the-right-thing/ *(replace the [DOT])

        Braces… yeah! 😬 At least the car insurance is still a way off.

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  6. Rainy, I loved the photos. I don’t think respecting children had been articulated when I was growing up or raising my children. I wish it had been. Being a single parent is not an easy job. I finished raising my children after my husband died. Best of luck to you! ❤ Cheryl

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